I don't know if anyone will care but I am one that I enjoy putting down my thoughts of what is going on in my life. I have written two books of my thoughts and feelings. One is called "Parents Again" dealing with relatives becoming care givers for their grandchildren, aunts and uncles with their nieces and nephews, etc. You get the idea. I have also written a book called, "Creat A Happy Church" dealing with my thoughts and direction from God and pastors and the congregation following God in creating a church family pleasing unto God. I just love to write. Back a few years ago my wife had to be gone for a while and I took the time to basically write a letter or two a day in a journal for her to read when she returned. I had always enjoyed it. I also found that I can say things in writing that I couldn't get said out of my mouth. It just seems more natural and easier to put pen to tablet or fingers to the computer to get these thoughts and ideas our to whom it is needed. Or even just to put them down for future reference. I found when I was younger I enjoyed putting pen to paper and writing to God. I wasn't raised a christian but there was always something in me that just knew that God was there and He was watching and listening. If I had a hurt, I could put it down on paper and it felt right and that God heard and saw. I even had the idea that Jesus was standing behind me watching me write.
One time as I was writing it felt as tho Jesus or and Angel was behind me looking over my shoulder reading what I was putting to paper. I was really hurting and discouraged and the words just wouldn't come out of my mouth but I could put them to paper. It felt as tho whoever was standing behind me reading it was cryng right along with me and could feel the hurt in my heart. Life in the Galt house has not been the easiet thing. When I say the Galt house I speak of the one today. I feel that what went on when I was growing up is in the past. I do wish that I had a time machine and were able to go back in time and make some changes to how things were or how I reacted to a situation or just to change the way I was. There were some joyous time in my past, but there are some things that I truly would wish that that time machine would let me go back and change them. Many people mad an influence on my life, some for the God, but some, well lets say I wouldn't want anyone to know about that because unlike God our father, there are some holier than thou people that would put you right up on the other side of Jesus and crucify me. It is in their human nature to do that.
Christians honestly don't need the court system to judge people. They have already become Sheriff, Judge, Jury and executioner. And they can't wait to call someone and just have diareha of the mouth and run off and tell. Even some have the nerve to make things up about you and spread that as gospel. Out and out lies that they give to try to do harm to you because it makes them feel they are superior and a sense of greater than thou.
When my wife and I took on the responsibilty of raising two of the most wonderful kids in the world, Matthew and Kelly, you would not believe the number of people that, well meaning they thought, bossy as all get out, thinking they know all and tell all, came to us and told us we were stupid for stepping up to the plate and welcoming these two into our home. We did as we felt was right. I thank God that my wife agreed with my and said yes. We did take the time to think about it. It took quite a while to say yes. About one millionth of a second. I could not stand to let them be put up for adoption and sent to a home of strangers. They needed to stay in the home of people that would love care for them. We have tried our best. It hasn't been easy. Little did we know when we said yes the first time then about a year or so later we said yes again what we would be getting into. My health at that time was excellent. But over time it went down hill and Lorie had to pick up the slack and take more responsibilty because of my health. She has been fantastic.
One thing that really bothers me tho is those "well meaning people" who open mouth and insert foot and try to tell us what we need to do and not do. I am sorry to say, well not really, butt out. You do not know what is going on behind the scenes and you do NOT know what we go through. We find that it is hard to tell anyone what is going on and some of the troubles that we have had. Unless you have been through it, you don't know what to say to us. You just want to be bossy. You think you are doing right, but till you can walk a mile or even a few feet in our shoes, listen carefully and if I offend you with what I am about to say, I won't apologize, SHUT UP AND BUTT OUT. Book learning is good to have, but the greatest teacher there is is the experience of being there.
We have had the opportunity to counsel others and help them going through this same experience and it has been a blessing because we have been able to share with them what we have been through and how we have done it. But don't take what we say as gospel. Each situation is different. We share what we have faced and how we have handled it. Just take those words and pray over them and use them as an example but you must handle the stiuations in the way that God leads you. Common sense and prayer and leadership of the Holy Spirit is the best way to handle it.
The last three days of being in the hospital has given me the time to reflect on our experiences and my eyes have truly been opened to some the comings and goings, some of the ups and downs of our marriage and our life. You see, one thing about my marriage to Lorie, and this really hurts deeply and I feel that she has been deprived of something, we have never really taken a honeymoon. We have never really been able to take some Lorie and Tom time of our own. There has been a child in our home the whole time. Don't get me wrong. We have enjoyed our children, and step children, but we have found that it would be wonderful at our age to be able to go and to have some just Lorie and Tom time alone. Maybe one day God will provide that time. Just a few days somewhere that Tom and Lorie can take a few days and just enjoy each others company and renew that love and respect that we have for each other. To really get to know each other as partners in life. I pray that one day God would provide just even a weekend where Tom and Lorie could go and get a place where we could just hold each other and not let go. Would be nice. Even now every time we try to have some quiet time, not happening. Last Thursday we were in the kitchen of our home. We wanted to give each other a hug and a kiss, and I think kids have built in radar. It has to be genetically built into a child. Never fails. Just about the time our lips go to touch, even just about the time our arms go about each other, "Mommy, Matthew hit me." Or even better we were about to hug when someone a bit shorter than ourselves came right up and shoved their way in between us and the moment was lost. Don't get me wrong. I love my babies hugs. I love my babies kisses. But I also long for those hugs and kisses from my wonderful partner, my wonderful life. It just seems that problems melt away when I am in her arms.
When she was about to leave today from my hospital room we did get that opportunity to get a hug and a long kiss. No kids, no phone ringing. Just us in a loving embrace. It seemed to melt the worry about my health away and I felt for the first time I would make it out of this place back to the arms of the one I love. One day we will get the time and money to go to a quiet place like Gatlinburg, or even Daytona and just the two of us spend time renewing the oneness that God has placed us into. We never go anywhere right now without the kids. I feel guilty going some where and not having the kids with us. But a husband and wife need that alone time just the two of us.
This time in the hospital has really given me time to think and desire and pray over our lives. Yes God has taken this situation to draw us together. Yes I have had the opportunity to take time to pray over some that are worse off than me. One person in the room across from me they called a code blue. His heart had stopped. Serious heart attack. God gave me the opportunity to pray over them and see the hand of God at work. Two minutes later they were back and talking. They had died. They were dead, but Jesus raised them up and they live. Thank you Father for that chance.
I don't know if anyone is interested in reading these blogs but it gives me the opportunity to open my heart and share what is in it. Don't judge me or my family till you know what is in it. When you point your finger at us just remember there are more fingers pointing back at yourself. Before you try to get the speck out of my eye, pluck the beam out of your own. Judgement is reserved for one, our Heavenly Father. Your duty is to pray for us and reach out with a helping unjudgmental hand. More to come. This is going to be a running blog of what is happening and how God is revealing His love and His Son in our lives. Love to all till next time.
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